Kate Strong's Blog

I wanted to acknowledge the passing of my friend Lee Roche. I met Lee online in early May 2010 and we got on so well, we used to talk on skype alot. She was such a vivacious and vibrant woman. We met through an email group and found we had alot in common. I bought her book at her website http://www.circleoflife.co.nz which was about her journey helping her husband who had cancer, with her efforts he went into remission. Sadly he passed away August 2009. They had been together since she was 18. She died age 48.

It was like we had known each other for years. She was so grief stricken but staying positive and she was wanting to stay in her lovely familyl home and not move out due to foreclosure. She totally believed in the power of manifestation.

Late May she went to visit her daughter in Auckland and I remember her saying she was sick and going to go back home. And that’s the last I heard. I thought it strange she hadnt contacted me back but was told that she had lost her internet.

In fact she had gone straight to hospital and from reports I gather was put in an induced coma for 5 weeks then passed away. It’s horribly sad for her daughters who have lost their father and mother in less than a year. She used to always talk about how much she loved her daughters so much.

She passed away June 26th, 2010 of swine flu.

RIP Lee, and thank

Something that hurt another – maybe seriously. Or something
that hurt yourself so badly that other people were affected
as well.

Lets look at it a little closer.

First, you did something wrong. A wrong was committed.
No argument there. Any jury in the land would agree; you
were wrong to do what you did.

Well, okay, you made a mistake. But it’s also a mistake to
not forgive yourself. If you don’t forgive yourself, then
you are also committing another wrong.

Do two wrongs make a right?

Am I going to compound my first wrong with a second wrong?

Many people would. Because it’s the easy way out. It’s so much
simpler and easier to just judge yourself and punish yourself
rather than to honestly dig deep and look at the situation in
the light of day.

When you judge anything you freeze it into place. Judgments are
designed to avoid pain and avoid responsibility and to punish
either yourself or another.

It’s way too easy to judge. Responsibility, on the other hand,
seems difficult and unpleasant. And I have to be responsible if
I want to forgive myself for this crime I really did commit that
hurt myself and others.

But if I don’t forgive then I’m taking the coward’s way out.
I know it doesn’t seem that way. It seems like forgiveness is
the copout, and the ‘manly’ thing to do is to suffer for my sins.
Even if I’m a woman!

And I use the word ‘manly’ because lack of forgiveness is a
function of chauvinism. Unfortunately, chauvinism is a living,
breathing energy. It exists independently of you and me. And
it’s MUCH more than a man dominating a woman. That’s only the
tip of the iceberg!

If you look carefully at modern society, you’ll see we’re
immersed so deeply into chauvinism and domination that it’s
hard to even imagine living any other way. Whether you’re a
man or a woman…. most likely you feel the effects of chauvinism
in a profound way.

Suffering… struggling… punishing…. these are all functions
of chauvinism. Chauvinism says you’re SUPPOSED to suffer for
your sins. And forgiveness doesn’t really mean anything anyway.
Suffering holds value. While forgiveness is avoiding the
suffering and punishment you deserve. That’s the lie of
chauvinism.

And that’s the backdrop of why it’s so hard to forgive yourself
even under the best of circumstances.

Because we’ve all been so conditioned to believe the lies of
chauvinism.

If you want to forgive yourself for this very real crime, then
you’re going to have to be RESPONSIBLE for your crime. You’ll
have to ‘own’ it. Ownership and responsibility are the exact
opposites of copping out. They require you to think and feel;
to dig deep; to look closer; to make evaluations.

You bring your crime closer if you wish to forgive. You have to
understand it and FEEL it – not judge it.

And remember, there’s no understanding in judgment! When you
freeze it into place, you can never resolve it. You keep the
pain and the past alive when you judge your crimes.

Chauvinism by its very nature is always cowardly. It doesn’t
want you to think and feel and evaluate and be responsible.
Chauvinism wants you to punish and judge yourself. Chauvinism
wants you to turn against yourself – and NOT do the responsible
thing – which involves knowing yourself more, and therefore
being able to forgive and heal.

So which road will you take?

More loving and healing? Or more punishment and suffering?

The choice is always up to you.

If you’re ready to take the path of healing and growing and
changing then click on the link below -

http://www.forgive-yourself.info

Thanks to Mark I Myhre for this excerpt.

Forgiveness is a living breathing energy. It’s always around.
It’s in the air, so to speak. Accessible to all.

So while it’s important to know HOW to forgive, it’s more
important to first understand why you might resist it. Because
once you know why you resist it, then it becomes much easier
to actually TAP INTO that incredible, invisible force of
forgiveness that can heal so much in a person’s life.

Here’s why we find ourselves reluctant to forgive:

1. Seen as a weakness.

If I have to forgive, that means I’ve lost. I’ve been defeated
in some way. I really am guilty. Somebody else ‘got’ me – or
I got myself.

And now, in my defeat, all I can do is lick my wounds by
forgiving myself. I’ve failed.

2. Seen as arrogance.

“Who do you think you are to just forgive yourself after what
you’ve done?!!”

“You think you can get off the hook that easy? You haven’t
suffered enough!”

You still need to pay for your crimes. Or, somebody else still
needs to pay for THEIR crimes.

Maybe God can forgive, and maybe even others can forgive you,
but you can’t possibly be so arrogant as to believe you can
forgive yourself.

3. Seen as a shallow cop-out.

“You can’t just forgive yourself. That would be too easy.
It’s too simple. What would happen in the world if you could
just go around committing sins and then just forgive yourself?”

Forgiveness has no depth or substance. It doesn’t exonerate
you from what you’ve done. It can’t possibly right the wrong.

4. Brings up pain.

I’ve worked hard to stuff down my pain. And I’m trying real
hard to not feel it now. If I forgive, that’s going to open
up a Pandora’s box of all kinds of feelings that I REALLY
don’t want to feel.

Too much will be stirred up. I don’t want to be reminded of
the humiliation, the uncomfortability, the pain that’s down
there in my emotional abyss. I don’t want to muddy the waters
because the silt has all settled at the bottom. Better to leave
it there.

My self-punishment is just too painful.

5. Afraid of how I’ll change.

When you forgive, something in you dies. Some part IN you
that’s not really a part OF you will die.

Maybe some judgments, or blame or righteousness. Maybe a
little bit of control or manipulation. Maybe a little part
of my pity, or victimhood, or martyrhood.

But I NEED to feel like a victim. Sure, it hurts. Victimhood
is a pain factory. But I’m comfortable with the pain of being
a victim. I know it well. What kind of a person would I be
if I wasn’t a victim? That’s too scary.

Also, something will be born when I forgive. Some freedom, or
some dream. Some hope. Perhaps some happiness.

What if I start feeling too good once I forgive? Then I might
forget what happened. And then it could happen again. I’m not
willing to take that chance.

6. Afraid of demands and expectations.

If I forgive, then I’ll have to be perfect and never ever ‘do it’
again. I can never repeat my past mistakes. And I don’t know
if I can do that.

Or, I’ll have to reconcile with someone else. And I really don’t
want to. I want to be DONE with my ex-spouse, or my mother, or
whomever. I don’t ever want to see them again.

Or I don’t want to let my mother off the hook. I really was
wronged. If I forgive, won’t that make it okay – what she did
to me?

7. Afraid of intimacy and caring.

Love by itself is scary enough. But fears around intimacy and
caring are just off the charts. Because if you get too close,
then you might see my secrets. You might see ‘the real me’.

And if you only knew how I really am, you’d run away in horror.
You’d be aghast. You would have nothing to do with me.

So I HAVE to keep this protective barrier in place. I can’t
possibly forgive myself, because then the barrier might be
breached. And I could end up all alone.

I need the protective barrier to remind myself of why I can’t
get too close to those I love.

Now, ironically, all seven of these reasons CAN be true.

You are at risk of losing the barrier that keeps you separated
from others. You might end up placing demands on yourself, and
unrealistic expectations. And something inside you may die.
Some part of your blame, or righteousness.

And yes, the pains and memories of the past will need to come
up if you want them gone. You will have to feel them as they’re
leaving.

Likewise, you could possibly be hurt again once you forgive.
You’re still a human.

Now, forgiving does not – by itself – make you forget. But you
no longer have to be IMPRISONED by those memories.

And people have indeed used forgiveness as both a weakness, and
as arrogance. But you certainly don’t HAVE to. The choice is
always up to you.

So understand that while any of these reasons can be legitimate
resistances, they don’t have to be. And they certainly can’t
stand up to the power and the force and the magic of the energy
of forgiveness.

Which I won’t get into now. You most likely have a good idea of
how valuable it is.

But if you’re seriously thinking about tapping into this energy,
then it would help to first look at these resistances listed above.

Because if you don’t find and release your own resistance, it
will block the effectiveness of forgiveness. You might go
through the motions, but your heart won’t really be in it.

You’ll hold yourself back. And you won’t experience the full
wonder of truly forgiving yourself or forgiving another.

However, once you’ve ‘owned’ your resistance, then head on over to -

http://www.forgive-yourself.info

Thanks to Mark I Myhre for this excerpt.

One main reason emotions seem so difficult to work with is
because of this double-whammy: we tend to focus on the
events of the past while ignoring the thoughts and feelings
that keep those events alive in our hearts and minds.

We consciously choose to elevate certain (perhaps many)
painful events of the past until they practically sit at
The Right Hand Of God.

We exaggerate their importance while at the same time we
refuse to feel, express and release the emotional impact
they created.

It takes constant effort to keep the past alive. You can’t
just set it and forget it – like a thermostat on the wall
You have to keep remembering it.

You have to keep using today’s power to reinforce the
imprisonment of yesterday’s power.

We Invest In The Past

The past is over, yet our power remains trapped in the
emotional investment we’ve made in certain painful events
of that dead past.

The past is over.

As you read these words, most likely your parents are not
standing there twisting your arms behind your back. Most
likely, your ex is not beating you up between paragraphs.

The past is over.

But the very power we need to break free of those memories
is instead being diverted into a much more sinister goal.
We invest a lot of time and energy creating a Frankenstein’s
monster of the past, and it’s become too big to handle.

The power you need to heal the past is instead being used
to try to keep it alive. It’s become a tangled mess.

You can’t heal the past until you get more power.

You can’t get more power until you heal the past.

This is one reason emotional healing can seem so difficult.

So what’s the answer? First you heal a little bit, and
you retrieve a little power. Then, in your empowered
state you heal a little more and get back a little more
power.

It happens layer by layer.

With greater power comes greater healing.
With greater healing comes greater power.

To help you heal and retrieve your power from the past,
you need to forgive yourself.

It took a long time for me to figure this one out.

I used to be so stubborn; holding onto so much emotional
garbage. What a waste.

Forgiving yourself is like walking out of a prison.

Plus, it’s an elegant way to make a change in your life.
When you forgive yourself – truly forgive yourself -
change is almost automatic.

Sometimes all I can do is marvel at the possibilities that
have suddenly opened up for me.

And sometimes I just want to sit quietly and let things
settle inside. Because my mind has been blown apart…

For more information on forgiving yourself and healing the past go to:

http://www.forgive-yourself.info

Thanks to Mark I Myhre for this excerpt.

He called you Darling and Sweetie and Love.

He seemed into you, he was a good listener, he wanted to do things you wanted to do.

He was calling and texting every day.

You stopped going out with your single girlfriends to places to meet guys. You stopped dating other men.

And it appeared as if he wasn’t seeing anyone else either. He never gave off that vibe, after all he was checking in everyday. He wouldn’t have had the time. You made plans together.

You were sure you were both on the same page.

Then you found out you were WRONG.

He was either seeing other women or he had a girlfriend. He didn’t plan for a future together, he was just playing it by ear, day by day.

You had decided all this based on his behaviour, but you realise that no where did he ever say that he was into you in the way you wanted him to be. You presumed that because you felt that way then he probably did too.

YOU NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED HIM!

Why?

Because you were operating out of fear the whole time.

You never had “that” talk with him because it felt as if you might scare him fully away if you had a serious talk when you were having such a good time.

You didn’t want to talk about the terms of your relationship.

He might have backed off if you had.

But because you played it this way then you missed out on a key ingredient. You didn’t put yourself first.

Unless you were leaving it to chance or playing it by ear. ( I don’t know too many women who aren’t secretly wanting their relationships to move forward to a deeper connection)

But a man also knows you aren’t putting yourself first if you’re not having that talk or requiring anything of him.

And if it’s all about his needs and not about yours, because you’re too afraid to tell hmi what your needs are, then if he’s not had that talk with you then he’s probably taking you for granted.

So instead of doing it on his terms, being supportive of him, tell him what you want and put your terms forward.

Chances are he will find this highly attractive because he will realise that you value yourself, then he should too. And if he doesn’t then he’s not the man for you.

So put yourself first and you’ll never be fooled by a man again.

If you’re reading this then yes, you are in a karmic relationship.

You are on planet earth.

And unless you live in a cave high up in the mountains with no friends or family or contacts then yes, you’re in a karmic relationship. So let’s define karma. Most people think of it as some kind of payback system, like “you’ll get yours”.

It’s a bit more than that.

We have karmic debt and karmic credit.

Meaning you either owe someone or you’re owed. And its not until this karma has been worked through that you don’t need to be on the karmic journey through life here on Earth.

We carry our soul karma in our energetic field. So what you sense in someones energy field is partly what their soul has carried into this lifetime as well. It’s not a checklist some external God has and we have to keep doing good to erase that list.

It’s with us all the time in our energy field.

So our karmic fields draw to us other souls and situations that resonate with our karma. Souls are energetically drawn together and unconsciously play out past life scenarios together. After all history repeats itself until its been worked through and healed.

Our relationships in this lifetime are the tip of the iceberg. What presents itself is only what is on the surface and what is under the water level is our eternal ongoing relationship with that soul.

Our karmic relationships are designed to achieve unconditional love. Whether you work through this together or achieve this apart, that soul relationship will bring you in some way to a level of unconditional love. Not love for that person but working through the karma.

It’s not until we work through these karmic relationships and reach a level of transcendence that we can step out of the karmic wheel.

I was browsing the internet and came across a site and read a paragraph that sent shivers down my spine. The paragraph by Patricia L Walsh read:

Our past life selves are not only characters in past dramas, but they also live within us today as ‘sub-personalities’. Their ‘unfinished business’ can make itself known through irrational fears, phobias or patterns that are not easily changed. We feel their emotions; manifest their talents; think their thoughts; are limited by their fears and perpetuate their quandaries often without consciously knowing we are doing so. These are the karmic complexes that are carried forward and re-imprinted in each lifetime essentially causing us to ‘pick up’ where we left off.

Well that small paragraph took me to a whole new deeper level of understanding. I know for sure that I came into this life with a whole lot more neuroses than I needed to. It was as if I hit the ground running with baggage. A lot more fears and phobias than was comfortable.

I felt the truth in this explanation that my unfinished business was playing out as sub-personalities. Of course we have genetics factoring in, and also our ancestral memories, but knowing that our past lives are still playing out actively in our subconscious is another level of power in being able to heal the past.

That I can deal with.

One of the key factors in healing this unfinished business from the past is to find out whether you have learnt the lesson. Intention is everything with healing. So set your intention to find out what the lesson is. You may like to sit quietly and see what comes up. Perhaps use a pendulum asking yourself questions. Or muscle test. You can use soul healing or theta healing or guided meditation to do this as well.

Often times karma is carried through lives when it’s finished already and we have paid our dues. At a soul level we hang onto our karmic lessons in case they come up again and we are unprepared for them. But we don’t need to do this anymore. We can clear this energy and let it go.

Some people have an abortion and move on with their lives.

Other people have an abortion and it causes such a huge healing crisis, be it conscious or shoved into their unconscious. The only problem with that is it will express itself in a number of ways. Via depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and a host of other physical and emotional problems.

Such was the case for me after I had an abortion 7 years ago.

Abortion for me solved one problem. But created a whole nother can of worms. But I suspect there’s worms were there anyway and were just more visible now that I had a reason to delve deeper, deeper than I had ever gone before.

I spent 7 years on a journey to work through the after-effects of abortion. I wanted to just get on with my life, just move on but parts of my psyche felt differently. Nothing in my life had affected me as much, or as deeply, as the recovery after the abortion but it was a mystery to me why.

I had tried so many different kinds of therapies and still I had symptoms. I had depression, anxiety, I tended to feel anti social, I had guilt and a sense of self punishment.

It didn’t matter what my head said, or that I understood my reasoning behind it, at a deeper level I was suffering and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why. Why it lingered. Why I had flashbacks and emotionally relived that short procedure.

After being in denial and on antidepressants for a few years, I decided to tackle it anyway I could. I tried EFT, I had mediumship readings, I had therapy, I read quite a few books, I had a huge amount of understanding, on all levels.

Finally the biggest relief came when I understood and experienced healing at a Soul Level. By looking at this terminated child as a Soul and not just a body, I realised that I had a Soul Group history with this Soul, and my connection with this Soul took me on such a journey of self discovery, one that I don’t feel I would have taken without it.

In fact that journey is how I found my vocation to be a psychic/medium/healer. I felt that soul had to come that far into my body and life in order for me to “get it”. Talk about a huge tap on the shoulder.

As a mother it went against all of my natural instincts to do the emotional and spiritual works to “let this soul go” and trust that this wee spirit wasn’t wafting out there all alone.

But energetically and emotionally hanging onto the spirit of this unborn child is what was keeping me stuck as well.

In fact I looked like I was still pregnant years after I had been through the termination.

Are you still hanging onto the spirit of your unborn child? If you’re not willing to let go then chances are that energy is still affecting you.

If you are suffering after an abortion, one that happened weeks ago, or decades ago, then it may be time for you to take this spiritual journey of healing.

It’s a grief that’s often seen as taboo. It’s a double edged sword, you chose to have an abortion so why cry over a choice you made? And having an abortion wasn’t always so easily to get and it still is cloaked in controversy even though millions of them are performed each year. So there’s a sense of relief as well that we are “allowed” to have one so easily.

Perhaps your Soul is calling you to do the deeper work, one that takes you to a Soul level of understanding. And until you do, then the psychological and emotional pain will still linger.

One of the main reasons women in particular contact psychics about relationships is because distance in a relationship creates anxiety.

It’s not so easy to quell that anxiety after you’ve just been broken up with. In those initial days after a relationship break up you run the gamut of emotions. Shock, denial, anger, sadness, emptiness, loss.

At an emotional level it’s really easy to understand why you’re feeling that way, but at a spiritual level you’re still energetically connected very strongly with your ex. Those energetic connections we form with everyone we come in contact with, or even think about. But if you’re in an intimate relationship with someone that energy is very strong.

So here’s a list of what not to do:

Don’t be stalking him.
Don’t visit him.
Don’t send him a barrage of emails and texts.
Don’t contact him, despite the fact your whole body is screaming out for him.

That’s a no-no.

If you can try and refrain from spending all your time obsessing about him, talking to all your girlfriends about him, and ringing psychics about him. I know that’s hard initially but its an ideal. Work up to it.

But…

Get out of his psychic energy.

And here’s the key why.

You want him to miss you.

You want him to notice a change in energy without you. If you’re in his psychic space he’s not going to miss you. By psychic space I mean that every thought emotion and feeling you have while still being very energetically connected to him, is going to have some sort of impact on his energy.

So even though it feels counterintuitive to what you want to do.

Don’t whatever you do contact him.

So that initial week or two after the breakup you want him to miss you.

9 times out of 10 he will contact you.

This of course all hinges on whether he’s worth getting back. If he’s a drop kick thank your lucky stars hes out of your life and keep on walking.

As a psychic I’m all too aware that my words can stick in someone’s mind and memory for years and years. I still remember a reading I had when I was around 20 years of age. It wasn’t memorable but for some reason little snippets stick out. Like how many children I would have and what gender they would be. It turned out right too.

I had a reading when I was with my last partner and was told that we weren’t compatible, that we were different frequencies. That always played out in the back of my mind. I don’t necessarily feel it did any damage and affect my choices but she really did nail the energy of our relationship.

Then there’s the reading I had in person, where the guy told me right up front in a barrage of words, how old I would be when I died, how old my partner would be when he died.

Eeeeek!!!!!!

Talk about having me on the back foot from the minute I walked in the room.

When I first started out doing readings I was very positive and made it a point to say I don’t see bad things. I suppose I didn’t want anyone to go through what I went through. I mean I still remember the age he told me that I would die and the reading was over ten years ago.

I used to find it hard to tell people things that I knew they didn’t want to hear. Like an ex wasn’t coming back to them. Or that they might have to wait longer than a month for the next relationship, which for some people is eternity.

I think psychic readings should be empowering, who wants to pay to feel awful.

Nothing in the future is set in stone. Psychics are reading your energy at this point in time.

I find sometimes I will see the future as it pans out, and sometimes I see the next stepping stone on the pathway of life.

Psychic readings are way more accessible now with the internet. And the types of readings that are available has changed. Once upon a time you would go to your local psychic and sit there and have it all told to you as if it was a very mystical experience.

Nowadays I feel the client has more power with the new accessibility of the internet. Some of the questions I get asked are so direct and specific I have to remind people that I’m not an all seeing God. I get questions like what is so and so wearing, and are they out on a date with someone else at this very minute.

So remember, as the client you have way more power than you used to, I’m not saying you get to deny the truth if it’s obvious that the guy you were dating 2 years ago hasn’t called you, chances are he’s not going to.

I’m saying you don’t have to sit there and have a lot of metaphysical woo-woo stuff spieled out at you, and for God sake don’t ever pay more than a reasonable amount of money for a spell. That’s just plain ripping you off.