Coming Out As A Psychic – Owning My Spiritual Power
It sounds ironic that I would write about coming out as a psychic, when in fact I have done thousands of psychic readings and healings.
But it’s true.
I’m coming out as a psychic.
I’m working through the issues that are raising their head from doing a cord cutting session between me and my father. And a big part of that is owning my power in the world.
It was all very safe going along to Goddess groups in the 90s when it was only women attending, but I live predominantly in a male household and what still feels to me like a male world, and setting boundaries has been hard. You have to be in your body and aware that your boundaries are worth maintaining.
But in creating boundaries you are then “on the inside” and I’ve been flooded with memories, both psychically and physically of relationships with men.
It wasn’t until I “remembered” past lives where I was “persecuted, prosecuted and executed” as a witch as Amethyst Wyldfyre calls it, that the way I’ve acted a lot in this lifetime has made sense to me.
I knew at a head level that I would have witch persecution in my soul memory but I’ve not ever really worked through it to this degree. It’s one thing to own your witchy heritage to yourself, it’s another to come out and own it in an open way in the world you live in.
I usually downplay what I do, especially to people in person. I don’t want to engage at any level in person about being a psychic, so usually shut the conversation down. But that is very much a shame based action. People either want to ask you about themselves or they ask dumb questions like “if you’re so psychic how come you haven’t won the lottery?”
Being psychic is not about what I do, it’s about “who I am”. It’ in my bones and in my blood. It’s at my core. Genetic, ancestral and soul levels.
I have expected to be criticised, to be devalued, its part of my wise woman heritage. I’ve expected it since I was born it feels like.
In so many ways I have hidden from what I deemed to be a cruel, harsh world. I have felt that way ever since I was young and figured that I was just too sensitive to be here.
But when you live your life with one foot in the closet for safety, then you’re always anticipating a threat in some way.
I always felt different growing up. I was in hospital at 18 months of age for 6 weeks and ended up with what looked like burns on my legs. I had other operations as a child to clear up the burns. As you can imagine being different on a physical level as a child threw me into hiding and avoidance behaviour. It also kept me ungrounded and not connected to my body.
I believe that anything that happens in those early years of life is a karmic pattern presenting itself in this life from past lives, and when I realised these are my “witch-scars” I could finally own my legs and not see them as damaged. I had flashes and memories of being burned with fire and the marks are there as a reminder to me that I have a spiritual power that was feared in times gone by. I finally can own my scars which is something I’ve never been able to do in 50 years.
It is an ongoing process for me to own my spiritual authority and strength. To be open with my power and knowing. Most of my life I have been scared of my knowing and have suppressed it because it could get me into trouble. The soul memories of persecution have been so close to the surface but I have avoided them because in the past to have power has been to lose my life. And I still feel that threat in my bones today and I’m working through it.
I thank God that I wasn’t totally able to stifle myself and can work in a job I love just “being myself”.