If my ex isn’t coming back to me, then who’s up next?

Dec 20, 2009 by Kate

And how quickly can he be here.

This is the second most common question I get asked after “What’s he feeling and thinking?”.  As if being on your own is the most gawd awful situation to find yourself in. I mean, if you can’t stand being with yourself for one minute, who else is going to be able to.

This also sets up rebound relationships which are way more intense than a normal relationship. Often they are relationships that we run to, to escape the last one, and we drag all those unreolved issues with us, just waiting to surge forth and comtaminate that new relationship.

If you haven’t dont the emotional work to get over the last relationship, then your energy is going to be not fully available, and you will attract someone who is comfortable with you not being fully present.

The rough guide on how long you need to process the end of a relationship is about one month for every year you were with that person. Probably more or less on how you handle moving on. But you’re well advised to take that time, otherwise sure as eggs you’ll have all those issues you haven’t resolved about yourself, dragged into the next relationship.

So slow it down, take your time and do the healing work to move forward, where you can stand in a place of empowerment, ready for a relationship when you feel like one, not because you have to have one or you will crumple.

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