Can You Sit In The “I Don’t Know”?

I’m deep into studying Meta Medicine at the moment and it’s probably the most involved study I’ve done since I was at school. I’ve studied a lot in my adulthood but mostly something where my creativity was allowed to wander and not be roped into my left brain.

Meta medicine has a structure to it, but there’s also exploration as well, I love the exploration, but find it harder as I get older to retain the concrete “facts”.

I dislike being tied into too much of a structure, and of course being an Intuitive means I can explore the vast depths of the Universe, and allowing whatever comes to me.

As I’m nearing (or thinking I’m nearing) the first part of my study, I noticed I had more anxiety. I knew it wasn’t a fear of success because I’ve put myself out there in a lot of new modalities before, I might get nervous, but not this level of stage fright.

So I took this problem to Heike McCahon, and explored it. What came to me apart from other things, is the way we are schooled in learning as kids. That we are rewarded if we get something right, and shamed out if we get something wrong. I preferred at home and school to fall under the radar, not to be noticed by the teachers, because I had such a great fear of being wrong and punished. We are so set up to compete with each other, and to answer in the Teacher’s time frame, and to feel bad if we aren’t at the “top of the class”.

One might say that school is just a reflection of society so you had better get used to it, but it’s an unhealthy structure. I didn’t do well at regurgitating information.

I preferred to pursue solo endeavours, so I didn’t have to feel that pressure to conform to someone else’s structure and end up feeling I was lacking.

To sit in the place of “I don’t know” allows you to be open to whatever comes to you, it’s a gateway to growth. To be open to listen, to be taught, and to be able to allow other’s to shine without a fear you will somehow be diminished because they do.

In that space there is the opportunity to think and to find out.

Do you give yourself permission to be in your own timeframe rather than pressuring yourself to conform and to be perfect?

To be in the “I don’t know”?