Is This One Core Belief Affecting Your Whole Life?
Realisation
When I got up this morning I proceeded to vacuum the lounge as we were having a property inspection today. I didn’t worry about it too much as the property manager knows we keep the house clean.
I realised when I was vacuuming that I was going over spots twice, and asked myself what I was thinking, because I knew this inspection was no big deal.
I heard “You’ve done something wrong.”
Then a flood of realisations came into my mind. If I don’t turn that belief in against myself, I turn it out on others.
Everything in my life is filtered through that belief. To the point its caused perfectionism and OCD with checking I have done something, or being on top of things.
I noticed too that it wasn’t “I’ve” but “You’ve”, as if it was something coming from outside of me.
Being Wrong
My son came around last night for dinner and to show me his photos from his holiday in Europe. He went to Auschwitz, and I realised that belief is rife in that camp too. Those poor people were treated as if they had done something wrong just for being born who they were.
Everything in my life has been slapped with this belief.
The abortion I had, every decision I have made, even down to a daily basis about what order I choose to do things in. My friend who died didn’t fight for her life, and I didn’t do any healing on her.
I’m working on my fitness at the moment, and I’m sore ALL the time, so I think I’ve done something wrong. To the point that I’ve asked a personal trainer about it.
Taking medication for high blood pressure means I must have done something wrong.
I think the core of it in this lifetime was the energy from my Grandmother to my Mother and her disapproval at my conception.
Wrong Direction
On a physical level the adrenals really get taxed by this belief. The adrenals are about providing energy to drive you in the right direction, but if you’re always telling yourself that you’re heading in the wrong direction, making the wrong decision, then the adrenals never get a rest.
Positive
On the positive side it has lead me down a lot of avenues I may not have gone down, maybe I wouldn’t have achieved all I have if I didn’t have this belief. Maybe I wouldn’t have started this business if I didn’t have this belief.
Maybe believing that this belief has impacted my life detrimentally is still this belief operating lol
Do You Have This Core Belief Driving You?
Comments
Eileen
I have suffered plenty of Catholic guilt over the years. After reading Eckhart Tolles two books: The Power of Now and A New Earth I am finally beginning to let this guilt go.
Shulamit Ber Levtov
Hey Kate, I can totally relate to this belief and all the self-doubt that comes with it. I think you’re right that it’s good to look closely (and lovingly, with a touch of humour) at the beliefs behind our self-talk and actions.
Here’s a book that might inspire you with a different vision of our original birthright http://www.matthewfox.org/2011/02/original-blessing-twenty-five-years-later/
Dave
Hi Kate, what a wonderful thing to notice that the critical voice started off with ‘You’ve done something wrong’ rather than “I’ve done something wrong” that seems a great starting point for change. I so relate to having these critical messages come up and I love your approach to dealing with them.
danaleighlyons
Thank you for sharing this tender realisation, Kate. Such “limiting core beliefs” do, indeed, limit and deplete us…and yet also benefit us (at least sometimes, in some ways). “I’m not good enough. I’ve done something wrong” are big ones in my life with very deep roots and early beginnings. They did much to shape the “good” and “bad” in me and my becoming.
Sarah Grace
I agree with some of the above comments … you are already making headway in creating change by recognizing that some core beliefs are at play here. And you might not want to let them have the driver’s seat. Using the word ‘you’ instead of ‘I’ puts you in that place of the observer, where you can then decide if these words in your mind are true! I think that so many of us have had this ‘something must be wrong with me’ narrative playing in our heads for far too long.
Elizabeth T-C
I have been through a difficult cancer treatment this year. I wonder what I’ve done. I think this is an old Christian cultural undercurrent . you’ve always guilty of something -even if it is laughing before you done your chores. An obsolete puritan notion still hanging in there. Always having us asking for absolution and forgiveness. What am I being punished for? Weird but real thoughts