One Core Value You Might Have That Is Sabotaging Your Success

Inner Conflict

At the beginning of the year I did a healing course via the phone with an amazing Sufi healer Dr Ibrahim Jaffe. On the call we all got to work with him and going through the process I had two images that were conflicted that I was to heal, which he said would have been contributing to my various skin conditions and also other anxieties I had.

The two images were a leper in a black cave, and an image of Hollywood.

For months now I have had aspects of these images come to me and what they might mean, and the feelings to go along with each image.

Leper
The feelings were very much about my relationship with society and my feelings of isolation and socialness.

I certainly could relate to feeling like a leper, especially having eczema on my face, and I felt quite anquished at not being able to dye my hair because of it. I didn’t look like I wanted to look.

Hollywood
I’ve always like movies and tv shows. And I’ve always been interested in celebrity culture. Ever since I was small I loved watching the old movies and reading about the stars and their amazing lives.

What Is Success?
Celebrities and movie stars are what our western culture values as successful. And to be successful you are supposed to work your way to the top. You’re meant to better yourself, get yourself further up the ladder. We also have a value about what isn’t successful. Where you live, what you do for a job. They are all in a class with a value attached.

And the leper is at the bottom.

Then I realised that the celebrity in Hollywood and the leper were the same thing.

Untouchables

Celebrities work their way to the top, only to find they have to separate themselves, protect themselves from the general population. They can’t mingle.

They are untouchable like the leper.

I think with social media now there is an aspect of celebrity which allows us to touch the famous, who were way less accessible in days gone by. Much like royalty.

I also find it interesting to see who in social media, who has *success*, responds to individual people on places like facebook.

But they are still set apart, like the leper. They have different status, like the leper, than the rest of the population. How we treat them is different too.

Our skin is how we touch and are touched, and at either end of class system we are untouchable.

We just valued one class more than the other.

The People
Prince Harry came to Christchurch yesterday, he went on a meet and greet on the streets, so the people could *touch* him. And he was charismatic and friendly and down to earth. Surrounded by his body guards.

We see Diana in Harry, the way he connects with the people. She was the people’s princess.

Founding Fathers And Old Patriarchy
The European settlers who thrived here in NZ were the working class. The upper class weren’t able to build houses because they couldn’t hire the builders, who were the ones doing well. They couldn’t recreate their lifestyle. The first sons who inherited the family land stayed back in Europe.I think NZ, like the other colonies, (US, Canada etc) has a more relaxed energy, a melting pot, less class structure.

Hollywood is the old Royalty though. A way we make other people more important than the masses.

So my point.

Illusion
Working our way to the top, to be and have what society says is successful, so we aren’t a loser, but we are a winner, is an illusion.

We have been taught this is what we should strive for, get A’s in class, aim for the top and be the best.

Success is to be better than everyone else. To have something no one else has. To be superior. To be elite. And then we can corner a market, shine, get what we need to thrive.

Being at the top is what we have been taught is where we won’t feel rejected, where we will be praised and loved. Or think we will be the most popular and immune to struggle and to the hardships of life.

Connection

But where is our heart in this?

Our hearts long for connection. We are mammals and thrive in community. We all want and need to feel included.

Spatially what if we were to aim outwards instead of upwards?

What if we could succeed alongside everyone else? With everyone else. Not making ourselves better or less than, but equal.

What if what we have to offer can still be successful alongside everyone else, even if someone else is doing or offering the same thing?

What if we can be seen, be valued, be heard, amongst everyone else?

What if we are successful just for being ourselves?