Kate Strong | Intuitive Healing

When Food Is Love

Health Consciousness

I’ve been looking at my relationship with food in the last month. I am always health conscious when I eat, but I had come to see that my need to be so healthy was actually causing issues in my body. I have now cleared up the dermatitis on my face and scalp through working on my issues around my need to be so healthy. It was very much that I was coming from fear instead of love. Fear of contamination. Very subtle indeed.


This was exacerbated I think when I found out my friend was dying of pancreatic cancer at the start of the year, it set me into another tail spin on being healthy, in fact the day she died is the day I started a 5 day juice detox. Since that day I have put the weight back on that I lost, and then some.


I was exercising with a PT and had to stop, my adrenals were getting creamed, I just couldn’t lose the weight. I did more research and thought it had to do with my cortisol levels.


Then I started to get indigestion everyday. And felt bloated. I couldn’t work out why because I was eating so healthy.


Geneen Roth

I decided to start reading Geneen Roth’s books again, and bought Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything because it was the book I could get the fastest. I’ve read all Geneen’s books before, but this time I really got it.


I had never had a weight issue; I had prided myself on the fact I could eat what I wanted without putting on weight. But then I put on a lot of weight after I had an abortion. I thought it was hormonal; perimenopausal. I’ve looked at so many angles I just couldn’t find anything that shifted the issue.


Restrictors and Permitters

Geneen talks about how there are restrictors and permitters in eating. I’m a restrictor. I can restrict my intake of food and control it really well. I have iron will power. I can control cravings. I don’t mean anorexia, but more that I can stick to an eating plan.  Restrictors believe that if they can control then they feel safe. My parents are restrictors and so is my first husband. Then my second husband came along and he is a Permitter. They are the ones who eat what they want when they want. They want to have a party with food. Eat everything they weren’t allowed to eat as a kid. They believe they can’t control so they might as well merge with the chaos.


So he hated my restrictions around food. He didn’t want to come home to eat a salad, he wanted a big hearty meaty meal. We always had to have lollies and chips and popcorn and coke. After my childhood and first husband it was as if someone was giving me total permission to have fun while eating, even if I felt guilty, it was easier to just buy the crap food and not get into a battle about how we should eat healthier. On some level my inner child was loving it because I got to eat all the foods I wasn’t allowed to eat on tap as a child.


Food as Love

Geneen has always talked about Food being Love. I never really fully understood this, I knew I was an emotional eater, to quell anxiety usually, but it wasn’t until I read these two lines in her book I really got it. –


“I am beginning to understand that the whole struggle with food is not about discipline, or self-control or bargaining with myself; its not even about food. It is a story – a powerful story- about loving and wanting and having.”


“When I told myself that this time I could eat what I wanted with no strings attached – I headed straight for the foods of my childhood I was never allowed to eat. It was as if in letting myself eat what I couldn’t eat as a kid, I thought I could  get what I never got……..I needed to prove to myself that what I wanted most was not forbidden, but what I didn’t understand what that I didn’t want the cookies; I wanted the way being allowed to have them made me feel; welcomed, deserving, adored.”



So if I spent time observing the feelings I have about food. I realised when I eat a salad or something healthy I’m restricting myself, even though consciously I know I’m eating well, unconsciously I’m saying, see, I’ve eaten up all my vegetables, I’m a good girl, which always meant in my childhood that I was then allowed a treat. So when that treat doesn’t come now, I feel empty, as if something is missing. So the emptiness I equate to hunger so I eat more.


Because my emotions around food are all about deprivation, biologically my body goes into storing fat because it thinks its in a famine. More so this year than ever because of my friend dying and really wanting to be in control of my health.


I thought about how my feelings for nice food are no different than how I feel about other things. I realised I like buying nice food and really what Im saying to myself is that I deserve something of value, I want to be valued. I want to be important, I want to matter. All inner child feelings.


I don’t so much crave chocolate anymore, (I had worked on that already) but I seem to have a thing for scones at the moment, date scones. Even though I had stopped myself from having wheat, it was creeping in. So I got into the energy of it and I realised it’s a way of having a treat and still acting like I’m not really making much of an impact, sort of the invisible treat. As if I’m fooling myself into thinking its not really cake. Like the poor man’s substitute, so it didn’t really count towards being special.


Feeling Loved

I allowed myself to really feel what it is about cake and carbs that I associated with Love and Wanting and realised that those foods always made me feel special when I was a kid, as they were party foods. So eating those foods made me feel special, as if I really mattered and I was seen and valued and loved.


So the idea is to pull away the projections of all the feelings you have about the foods that have an energetic charge for you,  and feel into it and explore where they really come from. They are inner child feelings, your inner child is still running the show.


By thinking eating cake is the only way you are allowed to feel special or loved then you aren’t going to give that up for any diet or restriction. The idea is to connect to the Love and allow yourself to have it, without having to eat the cake. Love that part of you that equates food with Love.


Eat What You Want

Geneen talks about eating what you want. I didn’t think I could do that (because Im a restrictor) because I felt I would be “self will run riot”, but by eating consciously, and not from a place of rebellion, you come to see that all food is Love and Love isn’t restricted to only food. Or whatever you project your deprivation issues onto, whether it be things or money or people etc.


So you can still eat from a place of loving yourself, and loving food, but not from a place of deprivation or rebellion.


Do you have any food restrictions that throw you into the yo-yo-ing of Deprivation? Or are you a Permitter? The party is at your house.



Kate offers Healings and Intuitive Guidance. She offers sessions in the Emotion Code, Body Code, Cord Cutting Past Life Healings, Soul Healings and more. She offers these by email.


  • SusanBethBurns (@SusanBethBurns)

    This is why I love you, Kate. Every email from you that appears in my box is as if you’ve been watching me lately and are staging an intervention. So, I’m totally going to buy this book. Just by reading the tiny excerpts here, I can maybe start to see my problem. I, too, have never had a problem with weight. I, too, am somewhat emotional eater that goes to my comfort foods (american biscuits, usually) when anxious. But it was all fine until I got with my current boyfriend, whom I adore and is “The One.” He is a major restrictor most of the time, from how I understand it from the excerpt. BUT he is completely uneven about it and occasionally is instead a major permitter. I am a pleaser. I’m also an “all or nothing” girl when it comes to rules. The first two years I went by all of his restrictions, was confused when he was permitting, but stayed fast. After we went on a vacation where he was all permitting, I dropped the rules of his I’d acquired and was living by and became all permitting too. Since then, he’s swung wildly back and forth (sometimes within the same week) – and me being an all or nothing girl – I’ve just watched aghast while I permit and permit and permit. The party has been at my house for more than two years now and I suddenly weigh more than I ever have in my life. I don’t know how to find a happy middle and stay there.

    • Kate

      Hi Susan Beth, hope thats your name. I’m so glad my article resonated. I think its not about permission and restriction in the end, its about Love. I so understand the party at your house part. Its like your inner child get to be *allowed* to eat party food, and because youre the good girl you obey. Feeling the feelings underneath is hard. Feeling the emptiness is excrutiating, but its old feelings. I had been on a theme for a while now that I was in deprivation but I couldnt feel it because I was eating healthy. I know from my studies that its a matter of turning off the switch so the body knows its safe and safety doesn’t come from deprivation. Then the weight will fall off. Food is such a good area of growth and development.

  • Katie

    Very timely article for me. I share similar ‘struggles’ with food. I definitely am an emotional eater and utilize sweets to raise my serotonin levels and help me to feel better and ‘stuff’ my feelings. I completely agree that eating consciously is key and finding outlets to release pent up emotions or daily stressors is also vital. Journaling has helped me tremendously however, I had recently stopped doing that and soon will get back to it again as I started to feel better and eat healthier by doing that. Anyway, I really appreciate your writing about this and bringing more awareness to how and why we eat. xo, ~Katie.

    • Kate

      Thanks for commenting Katie. Yea, its often the emotions we find so hard to deal with, especially the aggressive ones, that also have no place in the work day. We think.

  • Kate

    Heres a comment from Monica who emailed me first as she didnt know it was ok mentioning a book on my site.

    “I just read your article about food! I always enjoy reading them, so thank you! When you mentioned that your need to eat healthy was coming from a place of fear reminded me of a book I have read. “Dying to be Me” by Anita Moorjani. If you haven’t read it I think you would enjoy it. She specifically speaks about comeing from a place of fear and after being diagnosed with cancer she dove head first into several different all natural diets to attempt to heal herself.

    Thank you for recommending Gineen’s book. I am definetly going to check it out. Anyways, just wanted to share this amazing book with you!


    • Kate

      Anita’s book really help me get over the contamination thing, it really tripped off my scalp issues when I went *no poo*, which is no shampoo, I wasn’t doing it in love, but fear of toxins and contamination. She still healed even after having all that chemo I think it was, or radiation, because of the Love.

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